In the economic turbulence of recent weeks, each day drops a new bomb: historic slides in the market, unprecedented bank failures. Every other conversation seems to revolve around lay-offs, bankruptcies and pending economic disaster, intensifying the sense of anxiety and uncertainty.

All this on top of the stressful events that are already part of a typical high-pressure workweek: a client calling to say they’re pulling out of the deal on which you’ve been working long hours. An unpleasant exchange with a colleague. Or the sinking realization as you dial into a conference call with a client that you misspelled their company name in the letter you sent out late last night.
How do you prevent them from derailing your productivity and eating away at your confidence? What’s your recovery strategy?

In his book, Fight Your Fear and Win, sports psychologist Don Greene, Ph. D says: “The ability to move on – to put a poor judgment, a wrong answer, a weak moment, a physical lapse, behind you instantly – is the thing that makes winners out of the merely talented.” Whether an event was or wasn’t under your control, endless venting and rehashing are nothing but a waste of time and mental energy. Instead, here are five techniques for hitting your internal “reset” button so you can recover and move on in champion style:

1. Use your body as an anchor. When we’re “in our head,” we’re either ruminating about the past or worrying about the future. Our body, however, is always in the present – so use it to get grounded. In the aftermath of plans gone awry, stop and feel the soles of your feet on the floor, your fingertips on the computer keyboard. Then, see if you can locate where you’re feeling the impact – a tightness in your throat or chest, a gnawing in your stomach – and breathe into the sensation until it starts to subside.

2. Stick to the facts. Now, back to your head. Whenever an event triggers an emotionally charged response, our egos will hijack the facts and spin them into a dramatic story that incorporates all our negative self-talk and fears of inadequacy. First, parse out the facts in simple Dick-and-Jane language – “The deal did not go through,” or “The Dow is down” instead of “Why can’t I do anything right?” or “We’re heading for another depression.”

3. Set a time limit. Of course, separating fact from your own firmly entrenched fiction is easier said than done. Egos feed off drama and will try to convince you that, if only you go around in circles long enough, you will reach a solution. Don’t fall for that ol’ chestnut; you’re not going to “solve” an emotional response by thinking alone.

So determine a finite amount of time – ten minutes, say – to focus your attention solely on what just happened. Write some stream-of-consciousness thoughts or bullet points and then resolve to put it aside until the emotional heat has subsided.

4. Send in your inner coach. If you find yourself during the day constantly replaying a blunder or imagining a worrisome scenario, ask your inner critic if your inner coach can step in to pinch-hit for a moment. Then, speak to yourself in a kind voice, as if comforting a child, with your own version of: “You did your best,” or “This too will pass.”

5. Keep it in perspective. Yes, there will always be the office sharks waiting to pounce at the slightest sign of weakness but, in most cases, no-one is as hyper-aware of your mistake – much less the harsh soundtrack in your head – as you are. In any case, instead of fixating on what went “wrong,” your energy would be better spent recovering quickly and determining an action plan for damage control, if necessary.

The Bottom Line
What’s done is done. The only thing under your control is what you do next. As winners of every ilk know, the ability to remain poised, resilient and quickly regain their balance is a competitive edge more valuable than never dealing with mistakes or setbacks at all.

The great cellist Pablo Casals was once asked by the sound engineer during a recording session to redo a section where the intonation had been a little off. Indignant, Casals replied: “But that’s the way I played it!”

As someone who hears the constant voice of self-criticism, I was struck with admiration for Casal’s integrity. How many of us have such loyalty to “imperfect” reality that we would refuse the opportunity for a do-over? Most of us are much more focused on achieving perfection — a life free from flaws and mistakes.

A Questionable Quest
Performing artists and athletes spend hours practicing their craft or sport, striving to ensure a “perfect”performance. In the workplace, we’re intent on presenting an unimpeachable front to colleagues and superiors, and legions of brides spend outrageous sums to create the ideal wedding day.

But what is perfection exactly — and how do we know when we’ve achieved it? Is it possible that the eternal pursuit of perfection could actually spell eternal dissatisfaction? What can’t we simply have Casal’s attitude of appreciation for “the way we played it”?

Perhaps you’ve been to a dance performance where one of the dancers had faultless technique and yet it was the one with less orthodox form whose uninhibited energy and passion captured your attention. Even in fashion magazines where airbrushed perfection reigns, some of the most successful models have been the ones with prominent “flaws” — Cindy Crawford’s mole, Lauren Hutton’s gap-toothed smile. Makes you wonder whether absolute perfection isn’t actually alittle boring.

A Moving Target
Of course, this isn’t to say that we shouldn’t seek to improve and achieve our best. But in this age of computerand surgical wizardry, the standards of perfection are constantly changing, heightening our fear of making mistakes or appearing less than perfect. When you find yourself more focused on hiding your blemishes than enjoying your life, you might keep these points in mind:

• Keep it real. For many of us, perfection equates with receiving approval and being liked (or at least not annoying anyone): “If I’m perfect, everyone will love me.” But while people may be fascinated by the promise of perfection, they won’t necessarily be comfortable in its proximity. As humans, we stumble and fall, blurt out inappropriate comments. It’s what makes us authentic and not automatons. And when we see that others — even the kickboxing instructor at your gym with the “perfect” body– do the same, we feel a greater connection with them than we would if they never screwed up.

• Appreciate your mistake. Traveling the path toward perceived perfection means experiencing glaring imperfection. But paradoxically, it is our fear of appearing foolish that impedes us. Why not emulate young children, who learn without inhibition or self-doubt because they’re more caught up in the joy of self-expression and learning new skills than they are in the fear of making a mistake. After all, mistakes serve to help us appreciate expert execution all the more.

• Is it perfect yet? Regardless of how far we’ve come, we maintain our insistence that, “No, if only it were like this, then it would be perfect.” Where did we get our notions of perfection anyway ‘ is it possible that we’ve been conditioned by society and media into a false belief that there is universal agreement when, in fact, there’s no definitive consensus on what that is? Is the “perfect”dinner party the one with the exquisite flower arrangements, carefully matched settings and elaborate desserts, or the one with nonstop laughter?

So when you’re beating yourself up because things are not going the way you think they should, who’s to say you can’t pronounce things perfect just as they are ‘ no matter howf rustrating, embarrassing or out of tune — because “that’s the way you played it”?

Watching the US presidential debates last week, I marveled at the intense conviction of the candidates — each shaking his head in utter disbelief at the other’s wrong-headedness – in trying to prove that his world view, his opinions were “right,” and the other’s “wrong.” Of course, that is the nature of politics. But out here in the complex, complicated world of nuance we actually live in, what’s “right” is not so clearly obvious.

Why We Think It Matters
Sometimes the need to be right ties into issues of self-esteem, self-confidence or narcissism – i.e egos are at the wheel. Other times, it stems from cognitive dissonance – that state of mental tension that according to Elliot Aronson and Carol Tavris, co-authors of Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me), “occurs whenever a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent, such as “smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me” and “I smoke two packs a day.””

Considering two contradictory ideas at the same time is uncomfortable and people spend a lot of energy trying to make sense out of contradictions and lead lives that are, at least in their own minds, consistent and meaningful. When you confront them with the folly of their ways, you’re screwing up their strategy.

Why It Doesn’t Matter (As Much As We Think)
Strictly speaking, a determination of right and wrong applies only to facts; with opinions or behavior, there can only be shades of gray. So, while we don’t have to agree wholeheartedly with someone, when we doggedly insist we are right (and they are wrong), we lose out in several ways:

1) We lose the opportunity to acquire information that would enrich our understanding. Playing the know-it-all discourages others from sharing ideas and information that could be valuable. Even the brightest minds are open to other opinions. In fact, that’s how they grew so bright, by integrating new ideas and admitting their mistakes. Albert Einstein, for example, admitted parts of his theory of relativity were wrong when Edwin Hubble showed proof that the universe was expanding. (Please don’t ask me to explain further.)

2) We lose the opportunity to connect. If you are right but alienate everyone around you, is it worth it? Gail Blanke, resident life coach at Real Simple magazine, recounts the story of her friend who, peeved with her husband, was going to make sure he finally took out the window air conditioners over the New Year’s holiday because they were all freezing from the drafts.

“You’re right,” Gail told her friend, but “you can be committed to being right about how wrong he is not to have taken out those air conditioners sooner, or you can be committed to having a really delightful weekend together. But you can’t have both. A ticked-off guy usually isn’t all that romantic.” Ultimately, her friend opted for the romantic weekend – and her husband took out the air conditioners without being asked.

3) We lose the opportunity to be heard. Wouldn’t you rather have someone make the effort to understand your point of view even if, ultimately, they don’t agree? At the end of the day, people would rather be understood than right. Bonus: When you don’t make it about them being wrong they’re more likely to come around to your way of seeing things.

The Bottom Line
The good news: there is no universal scorekeeper tallying up the mistakes and mis-steps of our lives. It may take a little humility and emotional control (that’s the bad news), but ask yourself: What’s my real goal? Do I want to win this battle, or do I want to have a better relationship (working environment, commute, etc.)?
Am I right?